Wanna lift nearly five decades of embargo? Wanna make the US your best friend? Wanna take photos of you and Georgie holding hands and smiling like lovers? Get those oil reserves on record, Raul. Time’s a-wasting.
Fidel’s a done deal. He’s old and sick and done for. As Brother Raul, you’re in charge and the barbs are out. Every US presidential candidate will take the Bush lead and aim at your brutal rule, your political prisoners, your embrace of communism, and your refusal to follow our extraordinary example of democracy and freedom.. And, for the record, Florida has a sizable number of electoral votes in play, Raul. Deal with it.
Better still, repent and be loved.
Take a lesson from the Saudis. They’re our best friends, Raul. Never mind that they sentenced a victim of a gang rape to 90 lashes for daring to speak to the press. Never mind that they convicted a woman of witchcraft after a confession obtained by torture. Never mind that they have no religious freedom at all, and never mind that just today the Saudi secret police arrested 37 men for …you guessed it….flirting!!!!
In case you’re wondering, the men are accused of wearing indecent clothes, playing loud music and dancing in order to attract the attention of girls, but remember, Raul, they’ve got the oil. And where there’s oil we can control, human rights are irrelevant. That’s the American way.
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