I hereby declare a war on New Year's.
I'm already old enough, and don't want a New Year's, although the alternative sounds scarier.
Also, everyone drinks too much, and then are depressed all of January.
I can't wait for Arbor Day. I'm going to set up a bunch of fake evergreens in my front yard and hang little Ronald Reagan heads on them.
I'll go along with that. Let's cancel out counting birthdays. I am happy for the ones I've had, but I'd just as soon not get any older according to numbers. Let me be as old as I WANT to be. Let's combine Christmas with Valentine's Day and make it a real LOVE holiday. We wouldn't even have to change the colors much. Let's combine St. Patrick's Day, Easter, and Arbor Day...and really go GREEN. Let's change Halloween to December 12 so it can coincide with the date of the SCOTUS's decision to appoint Bush as the winner of the 2000 presidential election. Everybody who disagrees with that decision can wear black as a symbol of protest...and mourning for the loss of lives and freedoms that have been the result.