July 8, 1999
Chinese soccer team slaughtered
Shanghai-- The United States women's soccer team scored 5 penalty kicks against the Chinese women's soccer team, thereby sealing their fate forever--literally.
China's Prime Minister Xiang Xamin, immediately evoked the old Chinese law set down by Confucius over 3000 years ago, and ordered that all the Chinese players be beheaded upon arrival.
Screaming partially of joy and partially out of fear for her Chinese colleagues, Brandi Chastain lets out an emotional outpouring after the 5th goal was scored. She knew what would be the fate of the Chinese team. "We were talking amongst ourselves and were considering missing the last shot purposefully in order to save their lives. But then greed set in, and I just had to kick it in," said Brandi.
Wung Ho Li of the Chinese soccer team knows what will happen when she returns home. Here she prays that the 3000 year old law will not be applied, but unfortunately, she, the fans, and the coach all know what will happen.
President Clinton tried to intervene and asked the INS to give them amnesty. Unfortunately, his efforts upset Xiang Xamin threatened to use the newly acquired US nuclear missiles to get his way. President Clinton said, "I knew we should not have allowed the Chinese to have this technology. I was under the impression that if we gave the Chinese the ability to annihilate us, they would return the favor by improving diplomatic relations. I guess I was wrong."
William Cohen, National Security Advisor, said, "We have really plucked a sensitive string with the Chinese. If we have to sacrifice the Chinese soccer team to save American lives I think we ought to think hard, and then let the Chinese people do what they have to do. I know it's a tough decision, we have been in agony trying to decide if this is worth going to war over."
Political analyst, James Coltrane remarked, "It's a sad day in American politics when we enable another country to pave our forests, our streets, and our cities with a few pushes of a button. Will we now succumb to all of China's whims?"
The US Women have essentially slaughtered the Chinese women--both literally and symbolically-- causing political turmoil.
I believe that God has planted in every heart the desire to live in freedom.
George W. Bush
DESTROY THE QURAN OR BE DESTROYED BY IT