Joined: Sat May 29, 2004 11:46 pm Posts: 14444 Location: NC
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My Fractured SOTU Tale
by Stephen Pizzo | Jan 24 2007
Remember the Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon show? One of my favorite features was "Fractured Fairy Tales." Which I guess is why as I listened to President Bush's State of the Union speech last night, my brain registered something completely different. I know what he actually said, but here's what I heard last night:
Thank you, Madam Speaker. (Looking around the room...) And may I just say, I love what you've done with the place! Did you bring a covey of interior decorators in from your home town, San Francisco? Heh, heh, heh.... (Snarky smile, head bobbing.)
And thank you, members of the House and Senate, for that warm welcome. You know, I don't hear a lot of applause or cheering these days. The thing I like best about these annual addresses is that it forces Democrats to applaud me on camera - heh, heh, heh. (Pointing to Ted Kennedy, gives him a thumbs up...snarky smirk.)
I am happy to report tonight that the state of our union is strong. (Long pause...looking around room waiting for applause but no one claps.)
Hey, tough crowd.. heh, heh, heh. Didn't you guys get advance copies of this speech with the applause lines in yellow marker? You better have or there'll be no fruit cup for Karl tonight... heh, heh, heh.
I know many of you want me talk about Iraq. Well, what do you expect me say? The damn place is mess -- as though that's my fault or something. No, it's not. It's their fault, the Iraqis - the little ingrates. God - the real one - told me to free the Iraqis from that tyrant, Saddam. And I did.
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STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS TRANSLATED
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"Behind every great fortune lies a great crime." Honore de Balzac
"Democrats work to help people who need help. That other party, they work for people who don't need help. That's all there is to it." ~Harry S. Truman
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