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 Post subject: Canada Apologises to the US
PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2005 3:13 pm 
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I'm not taking sides but you gotta love this. Sure glad I live here..
And hey, while reading this, take it with a little grain of salt, ok? =)


A truly Canadian Apology to the USA, courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes, CBC Television:

Hello. I'm Anthony St. George on location here in Washington.

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you, doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own. It would be like if, well, say you had ten times the television audeince we did and you flood our market with great shows, cheaper than we could produce. I know you'd never do that.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. As word of apology, please accept all of our NHL teams which, one by one, are going out of business and moving to your fine country.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the War of 1812. I see you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.

I'm sorry for Alan Thicke, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Loverboy, that song from Seriff that ends with a really high-pitched long note. Your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. Because we've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

For 22 minutes, I'm Anthony St. George, and I'm sorry.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2005 3:27 pm 
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:lol: :lol: :lol:

You can HAVE Shania back...please, please, please take her back...I MUST BE THE ONLY PERSON WHO HATES TO HEAR HER SING, BUT I CAN'T STAND THAT WOMAN'S VOICE! :tongue1:

That song "I Feel Like a Woman" is so STUPID! What the hell else is she supposed to feel like, for gods' sake?/??????????

She SINGS THROUGH HER NOSE! :toothy1:

Catherine

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 Post subject: Canada 'a'
PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2005 3:55 am 
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Maybe "Womyn, I feel like a man?" for a twist. "Feel like a woman" sounds a little kinky for a backwoods country gal. :downtown: Shucks, what's the big city done?

Lonely men who fall for an image in spike heels. Canadian beer is to blame, :occasion5: - makes her look sooo good. :hippy2: We should package her as Goethe and send her to Germany, where they love her disco/country sound.

Well if you were a north Ontario gal you'd understand that young girls receive compulsary early training as a moose caller. They have competitions every year here, kinda like your American idol, but they can only be moose caller of the north by squealing through their noses. A kind of high pitched eerie whine that say, Paula Abdul might let go, or, at the very least, a Mariah Carey ear splitter.


Shania was 4 year champion, blue ribbon moose caller all the way from L'Abitibi P.Q, to Lac Nipising, H'ontario. Dats quite da proboscis she possess and a beefed up set a lungs don't hurt either. Once she smelled the green of America, we couldn't stop her.

Any way, From Canada, sorry for Shania, and anyone who resembles her, even if it is Alan Thicke. We won't let this happen again. :error: :ogre: :whdat: This is our vigilante border patrol. Up until now its been to keep Americans out, not Canadians in. These guys are going to need to be retrained. Turn around , face the other direction.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2005 11:31 pm 
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reminds me of the movie "Canadian Bacon" with John Candy.....


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PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2005 11:42 pm 
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Yes, mga, another Michael Moore great production. I loved it! I might be the only person who did, but I laughed all the way through.

Oh, I would love to be Canadian!


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