This is just a quick cut paste.

I've been doing some research and there ARE a lot of good news stories to be reported: The Iraqi real estate market, for instance, is literally booming with many craters going for as little as two chickens and a goat.

Work on the theme park Depleted UraniumLand is near completion with most of the rides not exactly hair-raising as opposed to hair-losing.

The opening of the George W. Bush Freedom High School has been delayed, unfortunately, because of a problem with textbook quizzes. No matter what the subject, all the answers read: "9/11."

The first Fallujah Barbecue Jamboree was held, with citizens providing the livestock and the U.S. military dropping in with tons of white phosphorous and MK-77 firebombs. You haven't tasted beef until it's been liquefied. Yummm.

The first Iraqi "Iron Man" competition, held at Abu Ghraib, is ready to take off. The winner gets a pardon and complimentary medical treatment.

The Najaf 500 was recently held, based on the Indy 500. The winner was the car that didn't blow-up.

The Little Theater of Baghdad Theater troupe staged their production of Robert Lewis Stevenson's "Kidnapped." It was considered a great success until it was noted, by play's end, a third of the audience had gone missing.

A new, U.S.-sponsored Iraqi TV network, Al-Bizarro, made it's debut, offering such quiz shows as "Truth or Consequences," "Jeopardy" and a revival of Groucho Marx's golden-oldie "You Bet Your Life."

An Iraqi version of the American TV show "Extreme Makeover" also premiered, with players watching their existing homes vaporized by U.S. bombs and, then, envisioning their new home with no money nor tools to build it.

Okay. I made all those up. Kinda.

Ha ha! Thats good!