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 Post subject: Great Sex Coupon
PostPosted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 11:13 pm 
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Great Sex Coupon

Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped."

His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that.

The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How'd it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling -- I'll see you in two hours!"

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Smart-Ass Cop

Two guys are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, "Why'd you do that?"

The trooper says, "You're in Alabama, son. When I pull you over you'll have your license ready."

Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."

The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick.

The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"

The cop says, "Just making your wishes come true."

The passenger says, "Huh?"

The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, 'I wish that jerk would've tried that crap with me.'"

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What Is Politics?

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good my son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep poo."

Catherine

Laugher in triplicate. We sure need it these days! Image

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"Behind every great fortune lies a great crime."
Honore de Balzac

"Democrats work to help people who need help.
That other party, they work for people who don't need help.
That's all there is to it."

~Harry S. Truman


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 6:18 am 
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[smilie=to funny.gif]

I like your emoticon better, does it come from the page here on the site?

Last joke is almost too true to be funny...

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 7:34 am 
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That emoticon came from the place where I stole the jokes. It was included when I sneaked the jokes out. I figured I might as well take it, too!

The site is http://www.shwing.com

It's in the process of being updated for some reason and newbies can't register.

Skeeter alerted me to it not long ago.

Catherine

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Image

"Behind every great fortune lies a great crime."
Honore de Balzac

"Democrats work to help people who need help.
That other party, they work for people who don't need help.
That's all there is to it."

~Harry S. Truman


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:26 am 
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So many sites have been hacked lately, maybe they are trying to avoid the problem?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 1:41 pm 
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Location: Los Angeles, California
Hello Catherine, I just want to say that I appreciate your honesty and thanks for giving credit to Shwing.


Cheers!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 2:06 pm 
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You're welcome! I'm glad I gave SHWING credit, too! We're very particular about citing sources here.

I hope you don't mind that I stole the jokes! :oops: They were just too good to pass up and, since I couldn't register at your site, I figured you wouldn't mind if I gave the site the credit it so justly deserved.

Welcome to TVNL, by the way. Glad you've stopped by.

Catherine

_________________
Image

"Behind every great fortune lies a great crime."
Honore de Balzac

"Democrats work to help people who need help.
That other party, they work for people who don't need help.
That's all there is to it."

~Harry S. Truman


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 2:34 pm 
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Not a problem at all. The site was down for remodeling and registration was turned off.

Life is about sharing, so no harm done!

Best...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 2:42 pm 
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sunshine...if you would like to post a plug for your site, please go here:

http://tvnewslies.org/phpbb/viewtopic.php?p=22661#22661

Give whatever information you'd like and then just post a link.

We like to share, too. :D

Catherine

_________________
Image

"Behind every great fortune lies a great crime."
Honore de Balzac

"Democrats work to help people who need help.
That other party, they work for people who don't need help.
That's all there is to it."

~Harry S. Truman


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 3:30 pm 
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Posts: 4
Location: Los Angeles, California
Thanks, will do that. In the meantime, you can submit to the shwing directory as well and I'll approve it.

http://www.shwing.com/directory/

Regards.


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