HOW TO INSTALL A """HOME SECURITY SYSTEM""" IN THE SOUTH

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used work
boots, size 14-16.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns and
Ammo and your NRA magazines.

3. Put a giant dog dish next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

" Hey Bubba,
Big Mike, Slim, Tiny and I went for more ammo. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the Pitbulls. They attacked the mailman this morning and
messed him up pretty bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but I locked all four of them in the house. Better wait outside.