Forrest Gump passed away and was met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, "Forrest, it'a a pleasure to see you here, but before you can enter, you have to answer 3 questions."
Forrest said, "Well, OK... what are they?"
St. Peter said the first question is; "How many days of the week start with the letter T?"
The second is; "How many seconds are there in a year?"
and the third is; "What is God's first name?"
St. Peter sent him off to contemplate his answers.
The next morning Forrest arrived at the Gates and was again met by St. Peter.
"Forrest? Are you ready with your answers?"
Forrest replied, "Those are some real tough ones, for sure, but I think I havr them figured out."
St. Peter asked again, "How many days of the week start with the letter T?"
Forrest replied, "Two, today and tommorow."
St. Peter said, "That wasn't quite what I was looking for, but your answer is right, so you get full credit.... and your answer to How many seconds in a year?"
Forrest replied, "I thought about this one the longest. I decided the only answer there can be is 12."
St. Peter was perplexed by this answer, and asked Forrest, "How did you get that answer?"
Forrest replied, "Well, there is Jan. second, Feb. second, March second,..."
St. Peter again greatly exasperated says, "Again, not quite what I was looking for, but you are correct and get credit. What about the third question, Forrest?"
Forrest looked at St. Peter and said that was the easiest of all the questions. "It's Andy"
St. Peter was again greatly exasperated, and said "Come now Forrest. How did you decide God's first name is Andy?"
Forrest said, "Well St. Peter, that's what the song always says."
St. Peter; "A song has God's first name? What song?"
Forrest starts singing, "Andy walks with me; ANDY talks with me..."
St. Peter throws open the Gates, looks at Forrest and yells, "Run, Forrest, Run!"
"Behind every great fortune lies a great crime."
Honore de Balzac
"Democrats work to help people who need help.
That other party, they work for people who don't need help.
That's all there is to it."
~Harry S. Truman