Wasn't sure if this should go in HER TALK or here in the Funny Farm...
Subject: WHY AM I MARRIED
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
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At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
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A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
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A woman is incomplete until she is married.
Then she is finished .
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?" Father replied,
"I don't know son, I'm still paying."
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A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in
some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife
until he marries her?" Dad replied,
"That happens in every country, son."
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Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew
what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
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If you want your spouse to listen and pay
strict attention to every word you say --
talk in your sleep.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.
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First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
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"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man,
to Love and to forgive him , and for patience,
For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death"
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Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives,
they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able
to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.
After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of
the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him,
"Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick?
That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR
stick, we'd be riding the bus.
