I think lefty has hit upon a lot of the right reasons. Parents seem to be the ones who need to be taught. Children do most of their developing between the ages 0f 3-5 years, their impressionable years. What parents don't realise is how much influence on a childs behaviour and development they have. Since children are by far the most marginalised and least powerful in society, their concerns are trivialised by everyone, except the teachers.
Being put in the position of disciplinarian/caretaker/educator/babysitter, it should be up to the parents to deliver children to schools with the understanding that they obey the rules and don't disrupt the class. It stems from unresolved abuse from their own childhoods. Parents when they are hitting their children revert back to their own childhoods and respond in kind. Some state that they don't know what comes over them, but a memory of such anger and frustration just takes over. Ah yes our subconscious, harbinger of all our instincts and memories from millenia, the 24/7 ruler of our psyche.
But with so much oppression in childrens lives from parents, peers, TV, religion, etc.- they see a sample of life with snippets of the problems, while their concerns are being trivialised by parents and other adults as childish and immature- and to top it off, they're expected to be perfect in our imperfect world. Seen and not heard comes to mind as the teachings us adults received, as we repeat the same mantra's our parents lived by and their parents passed on. Parents are in dire need of lessons on raising children. The disciplinarian as god, seen with resentment to its intolerance to change and understanding. Just rules, rules, rules, do as your told, not as I do. And we wonder why children rebel.
But of course, with the vertical mosaic we call class structure in life, well we have to all compete for what we get in life, thanks to our corpitalist structure. This is where systemic oppression becomes part of the equation. It is a class struggle to find security in a system which respects only wealth as a standard of excellence and success. The pressure is on children to perform and they let us down by acting out their oppression and frustration. This is learned behaviour, and is common among the resistance techniques to authority that most oppressed colonized humans and a general inability to trust each other. Parents project this upon their children and our children act out the frustration of being truly powerless. This is what happens when people are forced to exist with fear of survival constantly upon them- too busy to take the time to be loving and caring for our childrens real needs and development. So the world has become, so it has always been. One mother back when I was 18 stated that we have lost the Quality to life- we have Quantity but the little things are gone forever. Perhaps it was nostalgia speaking, but children have a better chance at coping when they have at least 1 adult with them when they're young. How many go home to empty homes now and become the authority in their lives?
The most important thing is my disagreement with the next statement lefty said- she blamed the schools. I believe that it is authority that is next in line, but not the teachers. The teachers are the convenient scapegoat in all this. Again, we receive orders and we execute them, like NCLB. There is little difference between the concentration camp structure/penal system and our teaching institutions. It is the one place we are all forced to go to, whether we choose to or not. Home schooling is the only option and parents are expected to instruct with the same care any teacher must exercise.
At least we don't execute our children in schools, but we do try and control the type of people they come out of school as. Was it the guard who should be punished for what he was told to do, or is it the guy who tells him to do it that is responsible, or is it the guy in the ministry office who drew up the plans, or is the supreme commander at fault? This compartmentalisation of responsibilities works well for our politicians, so they can bring the blame to whatever level of delegated authority is directly in the publics eye.
Children thrive when they receive individual or small group attention. But when they come to realize that the only behavior that is going to be acknowledged is bad behavior, oftentimes they resort to bad behavior to receive at least some sort of attention. Classes are far, far, far too large. Cramming 30-40 kids in one class is unreasonable. Only the most independent of children are going to do well in this environment. My son's k-garten class has 26 kids to one first-year teacher. She mostly just screams the entire day. She puts kids into time out for hours on end and rarely pays attention to the kids who just try to please her. The majority of her attention is on the few "bad" kids. I wonder seriously if she will even try to teach after this year.
Paying attention works, so we as parents should put the blame where it belongs and learn how to raise children so they don't grow up like we did- parents should learn to respect theirs and others children as valuable assets to society, not troublemakers, shit disturbers, class disruptors, bullies, elites and the destitute poor striving for the middle class. There needs to be fairness and balance to school and family life. Until we get our civilized notions about war and community worked out, it appears the system wants sociopaths, murderers and cutthroats to continue their race to the ultimatre illusion- superiority over fellow humans, to be the next ruler of ones little empire, to push their truth on others and win the next American Idol while shopping a t Wal-Mart for all those great deals, so you can dress up like your favorite hero.
Hatred, competition, and greed?- or helping, caring and sharing
- we have a choice how to raise our children and make them better than we are, or we can just continue on our course and believe that there is nothing wrong with us and so our children shouldn't expect to feel or act any different that we do.
Children who are brought up without basic love and care are going to turn into angry, hateful, greedy individuals just like us, and the cycle of civilization and its quest for perfection goes on blundering through history like an airplane being built and added to while in flight. Being cumbersome and awkward, it is on a collision course with fate, like so many other failed attempts at free flight, littered on the sands of time below us. And of course we ignore all lessons of history in hopes we can get by with our heads in the clouds and not to eventually be the next one planted in the sand.
Oh well, we can always leave it to our children to solve!