Never Ending Story 2: A Comedy of Underwear

Chapter One

Mr. Gamder has always been interested in trying to find a wide variety of different uses for underwear, what the Victorians called "small clothes." Mr. Gamder is very curious about this because no other species on the face of the earth, except humans, feel it is necessary to cover up certain parts of their anatomy in any way. Mr. Gamder has asked his assistants, Miss Adora Cheeks and Miss Gina Tart, to help with the research. They are going to interview individual people, chosen randomly, on the streets as "roving reporters," and they're going to ask them certain questions about underwear. They will choose men, women, old, young, and somewhere in between as their subjects.

Ah, here Miss Cheeks and Miss Tart are on the street. Mr. Gamder is with them, but he lets his young assistants do the talking. Here comes a gentleman with a friendly face. Now, Mr. Gamder's assistants are about to conduct their first interview. Miss Cheeks goes first: "Hello, sir...how are you? We're conducting research on different uses for underwear, other than its intended use, of course. Would you please tell us: In your opinion, how would you use a bra if you did not know for what it had been specifically designed?" Mr. Gamder, Miss Cheeks, and Miss Tart see sir's eyes squint, his lips pucker, and he scratches his head. He is thinking. He thumbs his hat a few times in a circle of embarrassment.

Finally, he speaks. "Well, I'd say it could be used for......

...ear muffs in the cold winters.

Miss Cheeks is very surprised. "But, sir...why do you say this? Can you give us an example of how this "other use" might actually be accomplished?"

Sir begins to squirm uncomfortably, but he bravely answers the wide-eyed questioner. "You see, it could be done like this....

well, they fit exactly around the ears, they are big enough to leave room to hear, and yet you can tighten them up under the chin so that they don't blow off your head, he stated.

the girls giggled at his reply...

"Well, sir...I have some specimens of one of our research subjects here with me. I hope you will demonstrate exactly what you are talking about. Would you please be kind enough to.....

"of course i would", he says as he takes the garment away from them.

he puts the bra upon his head, adjusting the cups over his ears then tightens the elastic band under his chin.

"there, how does it look?" he asks, not seeing the number of people who have gathered behind him watching curiously.

the girls, holding back tears of laughter like the hoover damn, try to act professional with the interview and say.....

that has to be the most sexy thing I have ever seen. I think all men should wear them. Would you be willing to do a commercial?

...."how clever, how utterly surprising that you could come up with that idea so quickly," Miss Tart says. She looks at Miss Cheeks. They both look at Mr. Gamder. He shrugs and gazes out at the growing crowd of people. Some of them are beginning to point at the man with the bra strapped over his head and ears. The chosen one seems not to notice.

He grins sheepishly as he looks down to the scuffed toes of his working man's boots. He shuffles his feet, stirring up a small cloud of dust. "Well, it wasn't so hard to do, ma'em. You see, my wife.....

"she actually likes it when I wear her undergarments like this. I would have never thought of it myself."
He continued, "I did it for her because I knew she liked it. I had no idea other women would like it also"!

And with that, the man who had made his wife very happy by wearing her bra on top of his head goes prancing and skipping down the street, one hand on the elastic band of Miss Cheek's and Miss Tart's "research speciman," still tied under his chin, and the other hand seemingly conducting a band playing music audible only to himself. Just before he disappears around the corner, he turns and waves to the still staring researchers and speechless crowd: "Thanks for the bra," he yells. It's just my wife's size....BIG! She'll love it!"

The people who are making up the crowd on the street start to disperse, laughing amongst themselves, at the show they have just been enjoying. Miss Cheeks and Miss Tart are dismayed, however. They have a report to make, but they have lost one of their research items. But hey bravely compare notes and organize themselves in preparation for the next person they will choose to interview. Mr. Gamber tells them not to worry...they can always get a bra from any department store along the street. Cheered, the pretty young researchers get set to acost the next passerby. "Ah, this next interview should prove to be very interesting," Miss Cheeks says, her blue eyes suddenly sparkling with mischief. Miss Tart looks and gasps, for down the street comes.....



(Next addition will be CHAPTER 2:)

Newt Gingrich and John Bolton hand in hand!!!

I HAD FORGOTTEN HOW FUNNY THIS THREAD WAS. WE SHOULD CONTINUE IT!