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 Post subject: Family Skeletons: Dear Abby Letter Lets Them All Out
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 10:14 am 
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Think you've got family skeletons in the closet? 'Dear Abby' letter lays it all out.

Dear Abby:

I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters who are prostitutes in Jersey City.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of neglecting his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and, indeed, is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel. Her time there is limited however, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would get them off the street, and, hopefully, the heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family, and of course, I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who voted for Bush?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

Found This One at the Smirking Chimp

Catherine

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 1:08 pm 
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Would you guys PLEASE put a disclaimer for something like this so that I can be prepared before I read it.

LOL. I wish you could have seen my face as I started reading, I'm thinking to my self "And I thought my family was fucked up". I didnt start to catch on until the Thai prostitute, but even then because I was just starting to recognize that something was wrong, I was just confused.

That was awsome.

I used to read Dear Abby all the time. I was reading this and wondering how the hell she was going to council this person!!!

Thanks Cat.:) Good way to start of my day is with a laugh. What could be better?

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 2:38 pm 
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CE, I fell for it too! Geezus, that was fucking hillarious!!!!!!!!! MAN! I cannot wait to share that with everyone I know. Hahahahahahahahahaha


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:01 pm 
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ok...i'm moving this to the "humor" section.....oops...i'm not the mod here.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 5:35 pm 
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:lol: :lol: :lol: GOTCHA! :lol: :lol: :lol:

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"Democrats work to help people who need help.
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That's all there is to it."

~Harry S. Truman


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 6:10 pm 
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Got me too!! I laughed even harder when I reqad CE's comments. Still wiping my eyes from laughing so hard.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 6:27 pm 
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I had to get a kleenex and wipe my face, sadie...it wasn't just the joke, it was CE's comments as well. [smilie=to funny.gif]

AND he read it in Girl Talk... :toothy2:

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"Behind every great fortune lies a great crime."
Honore de Balzac

"Democrats work to help people who need help.
That other party, they work for people who don't need help.
That's all there is to it."

~Harry S. Truman


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 7:20 pm 
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I'm telling you, if you would have been able to see, first my reaction while reading it, but even better my reaction when I got to the punch line, I think that you would still be on the ground unable to breath from laughing so hard.

You got me good with that one. I'm still laughing everytime that I think about it. Definatly good for the mind:)

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The greatest deception they have perpetrated is that we need them. Our greatest mistake is that we believe them.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 2:20 am 
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[smilie=to funny.gif]

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