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 Post subject: How to Shower Like a Woman and a Man
PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 4:26 am 
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint enhanced conditioner.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body bar.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:


Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the
'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Smell the ginger nut and jaffa cake body bar.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the
soap.

Eat the ginger nut and jaffa cake body bar.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of
tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make
the woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth
behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.

Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!


:P

Catherine

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 12:06 pm 
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I was reading the part on the woman, thinking it was a joke...then I read the man part and laughed my ass off.


Quote:
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the
'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the
soap.

Pee.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of
tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make
the woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.


Good stuff.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 12:19 pm 
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My cousin from California sent that to me...she's such a riot! My husband was reading it last night and almost fell out of his chair from laughing so hard...I know why, too! :P

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"Democrats work to help people who need help.
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That's all there is to it."

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 12:22 pm 
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I don't get the "woo-woo's" (lol) but I get face hair on the sink, the water all over the floor, lights left on, towel in a ball crap. ...and I'm not married. :/

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 1:00 pm 
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i must be weird...i pick up my clothes and throw them in the laundry room and i always wipe the sink down and the counter before leaving the bathroom. and, i always hang the damp towel lower than the dry one so that the next person grabs a dry towel. i make sure there is a full bar of soap in the shower all the time, i even rinse the glass walls down before i leave.

i'm a clean freak....maybe all that lsd i did when i was a teenager caught up with me. :lol:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:18 pm 
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Too bad you're married. :|

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 8:36 pm 
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I've read that one before too, but it is oh so funny! Come mga.....you mean you don't even shake doing the woo woo woo sound?! I thought that was a genetic thing? :lol:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 9:45 pm 
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Quote:
I get face hair on the sink,


:shock: :?

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"Behind every great fortune lies a great crime."
Honore de Balzac

"Democrats work to help people who need help.
That other party, they work for people who don't need help.
That's all there is to it."

~Harry S. Truman


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 9:50 pm 
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Catherine wrote:
Quote:
I get face hair on the sink,


:shock: :?


lol, woops...HE does.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 8:56 am 
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Nina wrote:
I've read that one before too, but it is oh so funny! Come mga.....you mean you don't even shake doing the woo woo woo sound?! I thought that was a genetic thing? :lol:


the "woo woo" thing??? lol...no, i don't recall ever doing that.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 10:50 pm 
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Well you may not, but I've definately seen it done. Makes me laugh just thinking about it. :lol:


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