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PostPosted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:54 pm 
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Libertine wrote:
I'll say that, while not squeamish about sex, per se, I DO consider it a private issue. I'm not one to go around describing my sex life in detail--like many of my friends do--because I consider it disrespectful to my partner and to the act itself. Sex is a natural part of life, but I do tire of seeing how cheap its become in modern society. Call me old-fashioned, but I think it should be something special, and don't understand casual sex.


Agreed.
I don't go blabbing about my sex life to anyone. It's personal, and would be disrespectful to do so.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:59 pm 
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Part of that is sex. What if the sex's bad? What if he/she is into sexual things that you're not? I just don't believe you can have a completely successful and happy marriage without great sex.


So you would base your entire future on how great the sex was? With no disrespect I would have to say that you are probably fairly young to make that statement.

Many marriages are great marriages and sex plays no role at all in them. What about those in wheel chairs that fall in love and get married. What about those for other health reason unable to perform or even have sex? Do you think that they are unable to have a fulfilled relationship? I know of at least two couples that I think are unable to have sex and appear extremly happy to me. Of course I have never come out and asked them.

Sex is great but making love is so much better.

If all somebody wants is sex, why not just into the bedroom alone.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 6:10 pm 
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making love and sex are the same...no matter how much one likes to color them. however, if you are emotionally involved with your partner, then i guess you can call it "making love" with them. but, love isn't just sex. it's the ability to live with someone and share your life with them and accept the fact that many changes are needed from both of you. if you're willing to accept the changes, then you do it for love of your partner. if you aren't willing, then obviously there is no love there.

marriage isn't easy, it's an effort...it really is. however, if there isn't any sexual activity between the two people, then there is an obvious decline in emotions. sexual connections reaffirm each others feelings, and the lack of sex is probably the biggest factor for broken relationships.

even living together as a couple requires the same effort, the only differnce is that both can walk away much easier than married people can. i personally believe that sex plays a large role in a relationship.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 6:10 pm 
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Yes, DK, I am young.

I believe that sex is a very important part in a marriage, not the only part though.
I have no personal experience in this area, so my opinion has nothing to back it up.
I don't know how I'd cope if my parter was disabled to the point that we couldn't have sex, or vice versa. It would be a terrible struggle.

I agree that making love is a million times better than just sex. No doubt about that.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 6:18 pm 
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mga wrote:
making love and sex are the same...no matter how much one likes to color them. however, if you are emotionally involved with your partner, then i guess you can call it "making love" with them. but, love isn't just sex.


I think there's a difference between the two. It has to do with whether there's love between the two people, and what the emotions that you both have at the time are.
Sometimes it's about getting down to it and just, well, fucking. Other times it's about taking time to enjoy your partner and everything they have to offer.


mga wrote:
the lack of sex is probably the biggest factor for broken relationships.
... i personally believe that sex plays a large role in a relationship.


I agree on both points.
Sex is a very important part in a relationship. It helps to keep you close. If you can't be intimate with your partner, a gap is bound grow.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 12:12 am 
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I think there's a difference between the two. It has to do with whether there's love between the two people, and what the emotions that you both have at the time are.
Sometimes it's about getting down to it and just, well, fucking. Other times it's about taking time to enjoy your partner and everything they have to offer.


I believe you were using the word as a verb in that sentence am I correct. LOL


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 8:24 am 
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Sex is a very important part in a relationship


I agree with that statement up to a point. Sex is important, but it shouldn't be the key element that binds a couple together. Why? Because usually a sexual attraction is one of the first things to deteriorate between couples as they age.

Speaking as a woman in my mid-fifties, I believe that any couple needs more than just good sex if they're going to be together through the long haul. At age 35 I divorced my first husband and began a five year stint of single living. For the first time in my life, I really felt free to do as I pleased. I dated a lot...men from many different walks of life, and of a variety of ages and appearances. Among them, I had several excellent lovers, but we did have to get out of bed now and then. :P That's when I really realized that good sex was important, but it wasn't the main thing I was looking for. So, jobot, you will go through phases as you travel through the years that will cause you, too, to view sex in many different connotations.

When I met the man I am married to now, he embodied everything I'd ever wanted in a relationship. I knew it the instant I met him. Some of you may laugh at that statement, but it's true. Our 16 year marriage sizzles, and that's because we both care about making sure it stays that way. We've been through some tough times, but those times have served to solidify the relationship. We also give each other lots of space to be individuals as well as one part of a couple. My husband never tries to control me, and I never try to control him. We trust each other completely, and we are both very comfortable and secure within this marriage. I have friends of both genders, and so does he. IF he has lunch with a female client, I'm not jealous nor am I worried that he's going to jump into bed with her before he comes home. We spend a part of our evenings together talking about people we've encountered in the course of the day, what they said and how they behaved, and how we perceived them. My husband is out and about more than I am now, so he meets a lot of folks that I never see. He often has some very interesting tales to tell about them.

I truly believe that some people are absolute soulmates, and that good karma brings them together. It was another person's flakines that brought about our meeting and, had that person not been like she was, and had she not been a friend of mine, my husband and I would probably never have crossed paths.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 10:48 am 
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You said it so much better then I could have and I am truly happy for you.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 3:45 pm 
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Although I do know that sex is not the most important part in a relationship, I do believe that it is a very important part. I also believe that sexual attraction is based a lot on your feelings for the person, not only their physical appearance.
I do hope to find myself in the perfect relationship someday. Doesn't everyone?

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 3:52 pm 
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when i met my first wife, i was 19 and she was 24. lemme tell ya, it was sex almost 24 hours a day...no matter where or what time....we went at it. this went on for almost 3 years, then we got married and that lasted less than 6 months.

go figure...lol

but, catherine is right. sex may be important, but it's not THE important factor of a relationship...or, at least it shouldn't be.

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