Children do only what they are ALLOWED to do.
I kinda disagree.
People, children included, do what they WANT to do..whether they're allowed to do it or not.
Example: I was brought up in a strict house. (At least when I was at my mom's..
..my dad was a lot less strict. Ok, no rules. ) My younger brother and sister, who still live with my mom and step dad are brought up no differently. However, my little brother has a problem...with anything and everything. When he does things that aren't approved of, he's punished..whether it's no tv, video games, playtime, dessert, or a spanking. However, nothing ever makes a difference. His behavior is absurd, and has only gotten worse in the last couple years. He doesn't do his homework (and when he does, he throws it in the garbage on his way to class), he doesn't make friends because he's so mean to people, he says mean things to his sister (not me or my older sister of course-we'd beat his ass), he sets fires under his bed (!!)...anything that comes out of his mouth cannot be trusted. Anything that he does needs to be supervised. He can't be trusted to stay home by himself, or anything.
Is this my mom's fault? ... granted, I don't think a lot of the things that her and my step dad do are appropriate...but is it really their fault that he's this way? Or is it the fact that he's this way because it's the way he wants to be?
Does he do this stuff because he's allowed to, or because he wants to, and simply doesn't care what kind of punishment comes with it?