Joined: Sat May 29, 2004 11:46 pm
Posts: 14428
Location: NC
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 As promised, Republicans in the House tackle discretionary spending by going through the budget "line by line":
Rep. Cantor: So the plan is to switch to generic paper towels in the House washrooms. Any objections?
Rep. Bachmann: Yes!
Rep. Cantor: [Sigh] Congresswoman Bachmann...you object?
Rep. Bachmann: Don’t you take away my faux-linen towels! I'm a member of Congress! I deserve faux-linen towels! Linen! Linen! Linen! I want linen!!!
Rep. Boehner: What the hell is goin' on in here?
Rep. Cantor: Morning, Mr. Speaker. We're just going line-by-line through the budget. Congresswoman Bachmann feels that switching to generic-brand paper towels in the House washroom is beneath her dignity.
Rep. Bachmann: It's un-American! Gooood bless Americaaaaa...!!!
Rep. Boehner: Okay, calm down and stop that god-awful singing. Damn, I wish I could smoke in here.
Rep. Cantor: Sir, if we switch to generic, we can save roughly 300 dollars a year in discretionary spending. That ain't chump change.
Rep. Bachmann: So I'm a chump now, am I? Mr. Speaker---he's treading on me!!!
Rep. Boehner: Okay okay okay...look, here's what we'll do. We'll go with Brawny, all right? It's thicker, but less expensive than your precious faux-linen. Got it?
Rep. Cantor: I guess so.
Rep. Bachmann: If I must. But I gotta clear it with Sean Hannity first.
Rep. Boehner: Fine. Now don’t make me hafta come in here again.
[ker-SLAM!]
Rep. Bachmann: Okay, one line down, 28 million to go. What's Line Two?
Rep. Cantor: Line two is...oh, no. Napkins in the House cafeteria.
Rep. Bachmann: Linen! Linen! Linen! I want LINEN!!! LINK: http://www.dailykos.com/
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"Behind every great fortune lies a great crime."
Honore de Balzac
"Democrats work to help people who need help.
That other party, they work for people who don't need help.
That's all there is to it."
~Harry S. Truman
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