We nonpartisan, equal-opportunity critics of political office holders, and the cuckoo process by which self-governance is currently practiced in this country, have, around our own meeting table, been chewing on a particular cud, in between beers, for some months:  What to call Republicans that is not as obscene, foul, or belligerent as most everyone would actually like.

Call it a party game that we've been enjoying, somewhat perversely.  Republicans started it, insisting on repeatedly calling their opponents the "Democrat Party," making sure they really leaned, vocally, on the "-rat" at the end.

It's all so childish, of course,  as is answering back in kind -- which makes it all the more irresistible to tickle, and such rich fodder to tackle, for our discussions down at Hack's BBQ Shack.

It certainly sounded outrageous:  A man was given 30 days in jail for having water on his property.  It certainly sounded like local government had slipped a major cog in its normally dull wheel, shambling off into abuse.

A few minutes later, after an online search and scanning various written pieces, it was far less certain what was really going on.

The initial piece was shrill in its tone.  Worse, it left out key information:  The man had dammed up a creek flow, a tributary to a river, without permission to do so.  He had done that before, and had done it again.  The first time, he received probation from the court; the second time, he drew 30 days in jail, to help get his attention.

Conspiracy theorists get no respect from skeptics -- strange, from self-avowed logicians who should know even broken clocks are right, once or twice a day.

Could it be that fact and objective reality has slipped so far in basic respect and understanding that innuendo and insinuation totally rule today's world?  After all, one person's conspiracy nut is another's leading -- although not yet lauded -- genius, fans of equivalencies and possibilities might say.

To some extent, it appears everyone's right.  Reality is getting much more difficult to sift and sort out, with so many surreal and previously unbelievable developments at all levels.

Getting a straight answer in this world anymore is next door to impossible:  You can ring the doorbell for Fact all day and night, but, only Spin will come to the door.

The latest case in point:  writing a corporation with a helpful suggestion, where everyone wins. You already know how this turns out, I'll bet.  For the record, and to help flesh out your imaginations, some detail:

We live out in the country, in an area where our drinking water needs filtering from various muds and murk.  We use the handy (but expensive-seeming, for our monthly budget) replaceable-cartridge water filters from PUR.  (Short commercial:  They do a pretty good job.)

Willard Romney has been on the road again.  There's a picture of him in a working warehouse, standing behind a modest podium sporting this sign:  "Putting Jobs First."

Too bad he didn't have that same attitude at Bain:  It would have saved many workers, families, and taxpayers a lot of pain.

But, then, you take a vulture capitalist -- surely a bane of our modern existence -- and link it up tight with pain, hey presto!  Bain!

If you think there are too many loopholes in the tax codes for billionaires to drive 18-wheelers filled with gold through, you haven't seen anything yet.  Just check out the loopholes in Willard's alibi -- whoops, sorry, ladies and gentlemen of the voting jury -- that is to say, his life story and beliefs.

In times of crisis, Republicans always rush in, providing their own special brand of comic relief, if nothing else.

And, it always is nothing else.

House Republicans, for example, recently demonstrated a new way to flush 50 million tax dollars down the toilet -- the cost to taxpayers for taking 33 repeated, knowingly futile, politically-staged attempts to repeal the Affordable Care Act, the helpful, but anemic, new healthcare law.