Monday, May 21st

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You are here Editorials Alex Baer Please Seek Help if Still Undecided

Please Seek Help if Still Undecided

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There's really nothing for it, not at this stage.  Propaganda, marketing, and psychological operations have done all they can.

Voters who remain undecided should seek professional assistance as soon as possible to prevent injury from overwrought hand-wringing, or other long-term damage.

The rest of us will struggle on and try to do what we think best.

* * * * *

Many will see today as the last full-spectrum day of candidate drum-beating, tambourine-shaking, and stump-smoldering speechifying.  There may be a regretful tear at this realization and news.

We must try to have, and show, pity towards victims of Campaignitis -- that rote-learned, knee-jerk, nearly autonomic response slowly built up over time in response to talking points, memes, and rigid belief systems following prolonged, unsafe exposure to politics and, especially, politicians.

Just as radiation research established maximum safe exposure levels people could withstand, measured and expressed in units called rads, political workers can unknowingly absorb too many cams over a short period of time.

Where film badges could show exposure levels in radiation workers, political workers can rely on regular, white bond paper, taken from copy machines and printer trays, then pinning a section to clothing, watching for any signs of a dark brown discoloration -- the so-called BS method of detection.

The maximum safe daily dose of cams is thought to be 40.  Volunteer workers generally experience an absorption rate of one cam per hour, whereas staffers normally take in two to three times that rate.

Audio and video editors, transcriptionists, media workers, and others routinely over-exposed to repeated, recorded speeches can receive 40 cams in just one, 8-hour shift, via intensive bombardment in concentrated doses.

Campaign-stop, on-the-ground site workers should be rotated frequently, as unprotected exposure to a 10-minute Romney speech, for example, can create a mind-blistering, 40,000-cam overdose for those nearest the podium, according to one safety brochure.

* * * * *

In these waning days of campaign warfare, the urge to drop last-minute "factoid bombs" becomes increasingly difficult for many to resist, especially those who very strongly suspect they have, as they describe it, "seen the misspelled handwriting and lame Republican scrawls on the wall."

The bombs can include any short pieces of information.  Of Romney's 26 advisors, 19 are from the Dubya clubhouse -- and we know how well that worked out.

Having handled dangerous or sensitive information for long periods, it can become difficult to curb the instinct to continue using such damaging information.  Republicans voted against equal pay for women, 207 nays and only 7 yeas.

This is not so much a cry for help as it is the body's natural process of disengagement and elimination of such concentrated poisons.  Romney says 47% of the American people shuod be written off -- a group that includes military men and women serving in combat zones.

It is currently thought best to let nature run its course.  Romney and Ryan think an emergency room is a healthcare plan, and that a voucher coupon for a percentage of the cost of medical care is the same thing as receiving full medical care.

Few cases require more than a few months to successfully resolve.  Republicans blocked all job bills, even for returning vets, and presented no jobs bills of their own despite concerned howls that new jobs were of critical importance.  They were able, however, to waste millions and vote 33 separate times against "Obamacare."

Most cases resolve in just a few days.  Romney likes to fire people, or have bully-pals hold people down for forced, ambush haircuts.  Romney is an officer in a magic-underwear cult who believes God lives on the Planet Kolob and will make him a God someday, too.

Some can take a week.  Romney wants to kill FEMA and thinks disaster relief is immoral.  Romney also wants to kill the EPA, now that industry is doing such a good job policing itself, like BP did in the Gulf.

Others can take weeks.  Teabagger Republicans draw Hitler mustaches and bones going through the nose of pictures of the incumbent on their posters.  They hang effigies of the President on and near churches, heckle the President and First Lady on charity appearances, and call an outhouse a Presidential Library -- but demand respect for war criminals like George W. Bush and Dick Cheney.

Stubborn cases can take a month. Ryan says rape is just another form of conception.  Romney and Ryan both back a horde of religiously-insane Republicans who have manifested an astonishing number of morally offensive, scientifically deficient, and wholly wrong, repugnant theories and attitudes regarding rape.

Such cases are rare.  Romney knows he wants a war with Iran, but didn't know it has a coastline.  He uses math only he understands.  He has many specific plans to govern, but can't think what those details are at this time.

But they do exist.  Romney wants to give $5 trillion more in tax cuts to the rich at the expense of the middle class and poor -- while also being against collective bargaining -- even though this path continues to create no jobs.  However, Romney would like to end the Social Security "entitlement" program -- an insurance program people have paid into via their premiums -- and give the pot to Wall Street to gamble away.

The behavior inevitably stops.  Romney paid 14% in taxes one year -- half what most people pay -- and wants a medal for it.  He demands trust for his mysterious programs and plans, yet is angry "you people" want more tax paperwork of proof he is deserving of trust.

Patience is recommended.  Romney is a spoiled-brat, entitled-feeling bully, and a power-tripping, sociopathic and impulsive liar.  He is a dress-up frat boy who has always gotten his own way -- and wants us to know he is just like us.  Mansions, dancing horses, $10,000 bets, car elevators, $350,000 a year speaking fees, and all.

It is the best, proven course.  Romney brags about his business skill but took government bail-outs at Bain and the Olympics, otherwise, they would have failed.  He says he can create 12 million jobs, but belongs to a party that created no jobs in 8 years, and no jobs bills in the last 4.

Usually.  Romney likes gutting American companies, jobs, workers, and pension accounts -- then off-shores his profits tax-free, still citing a deep love of country.

But not always.  Romney says he'll get tough with China -- his number one trading partner, where he's been sending American jobs in return for the many fortunes they have sent back to him.

But usually.  Romney was in favor of the draft and the Vietnam War, saying he really wanted to go fight.  He wound up getting deferments for school and preaching his cult beliefs in France instead.

* * * * *

There is a great, old tune by The Fugs called "Wide, Wide River."  It is from the Vietnam War era.  In the song, satirical mention is made of glaring contradictions of the times.  One notes civil rights peacemakers urging the end of violence in our country, even as the Vietnam War raged in another.

In an effort to lampoon that hypocrisy, a politically-incorrect, redneck term of the time for killing the so-called enemy is used, in an effort to illustrate their point by drawing the widest possible gap of distinction between what is said and what is done.

Their commentary on American politics remains as dead-center today as it was 40 years ago: There have been no declines in hypocrisy -- only colossal, ballsy, shameless increases.

If Republicans could be shamed.  But, they cannot be, as they feel no shame.

* * * * *

No minds will be changed today at the last minute, friends, and no groups outside our own congregation, already gathered, will be preached to.  No, there will be no new, whole converts to be awakened and gained, just as no Republicans within old, covert holes will gain to come out into the light.

We Americans will keep struggling on to do what we think best, even knowing our best is nowhere good enough.

Not here, not now, not any more.





Wide, Wide River (NOT SAFE FOR WORK):

Bonus "feel better" music, even though nothing's new -- "14 Reasons" by The Horse Flies:




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