TV News LIES

It started out like a regular day, as I think back on it:  Waking up, stumbling and side-stepping over the dogs on the way to the bathroom, then bumbling out to the kitchen to make coffee.

If I'd been more awake, I would probably have caught the first clue that something was out of whack somewhere... and that someone had better order more whack right away.

OK, so I'll keep to the facts -- you say everyone's a comedian, I say everyone's a critic.

So, anyway:  To notice the coffee maker was a slightly different size and shape right then required more lights on in the head that I had at that point, you know?  To have noticed that the one on the kitchen counter was blue, and not black and that fake chrome -- well, that would have been just showing off, that early in the morning.

Plus, there was the usual morning blur to contend with -- dogs needing to go outside and back in, my partner getting ready to go off to work, the normal, choreographed chaos of morning -- a sort-of breakfast while sort-of making a lunch while sort-of listening to the half-tuned-in radio, while the dogs twirled below, happy to again see the stainless steel bowls of kibble hovering overhead and then become floorbound...

The normal routine.  Nothing to get excited about, and certainly nothing warranting a shot of adrenalin. Quasi-aware sleepwalking was the norm and good enough.  A splash of cold water on the face for a shock-treatment awake, and a fast interlude with a comb -- swatted around quickly, as a symphony conductor might make rapid swat attempts at a housefly with the baton -- and I was outside, in the car.

Errands:  It's always good to get them out of the way early. don't you think?  Everything worked as it always did in the car, but something felt a little odd -- something that was so far eluding me.  Went down the just-in-case, hesitation-checklist:  wallet, shopping list, keys.  OK, all good.

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