TV News LIES

Friday, Apr 18th

Last update02:03:13 AM GMT

You are here News Editorials Alex Baer: Recipes for Disaster - Just Add Mixed Nuts

Alex Baer: Recipes for Disaster - Just Add Mixed Nuts

E-mail Print PDF

Recipe for disasterPreheat environment to global heating specifications.  Take a bitterly split America.  Smear with layers of rich, premium, Citizens United (TM) dough.  Add an overabundance of cracked, mixed nuts (right side only).  Beat incessantly for 3.9 years, or until population is completely frothy.

Next, fold in sprayable, fully buttered-up and money-sweetened manure.  Turn heat up under mixture via lack of media controls.  Poke at constantly with sharp stick until entire mass is boiling and seething.  Using no intelligent guidance whatsoever, serve with seasonal sides:  Delusional Greed Cakes (Republicans), Repetitive Dismay Bars (Independents and Greens), and Wishful Thinking Cookies (Democrats).

(For extra texture, add Surprise Blowout Frosting, available from Hurricane Whimsies by Sandy -- now with boutique locations from the Bahamas and up into Canada.)

Caution:  Filling will be steamy and lethal.  Let cool for remainder of current archeological / geological cycle before attempting to extract poisons for safe review by future generations.

Note:  If it isn't, it should be against the law to serve to children under 18, and anyone wearing an "American Hopes and Dreams" medic-alert badge from The Founder's Constitution Appreciation Society -- or anyone else bearing enough awareness, intelligence, and spine to refuse service from the Free All Day and All Night, All You Can Eat and/or Take Buffet.

More...


Most Recent Related Stories...


Alex Baer: All Aboard the Thought Train, Cosmic to Mundane

trainIt was a night like any other.  I simply wasn't expecting to lose sleep.  It just...

Alex Baer: Note to a Friend

happy and sadFor some insane reason, I am still able to find occasional laughter, and am not always...

Alex Baer: Cupid's Calling Cards, Kiss Kiss.

Cupid droneFirst, there was unorganized barbarism for the species, down to the individual, very-personal level.  It was...

Leonard Pitts Jr.: Again, Christianity the last to get it right

Christianity last to get it rightEleven years ago, Richard Stearns went to Washington.Stearns - president of World Vision, the billion-dollar Christian...
 
America's # 1 Enemy
Tee Shirt
& Help Support TvNewsLIES.org!
TVNL Tee Shirt
 
TVNL TOTE BAG
Conserve our Planet
& Help Support TvNewsLIES.org!
 
Get your 9/11 & Media
Deception Dollars
& Help Support TvNewsLIES.org!
 
The Loaded Deck
The First & the Best!
The Media & Bush Admin Exposed!