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Alex Baer: How to Solve Modern Crises with Ancient Snacks

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popcornPopcorn could be just the breakthrough we've all been looking for.

We've long needed something to help break through Madison Avenue's icy grip on our minds and on our wallets.  It could even allow, and help facilitate, contact with the Space Aliens openly living in our midst, called Republicans.

Popcorn?  Madison Avenue?  Space Aliens?

OK, let's back up and go slowly.  For openers, you know how a familiar feeling of vulnerability sometimes goes -- the sense that there are teams of psychologists working around the clock, seeking inroads to your psyche, in order to make you want to buy useless products, and ensure you are helpless to all commercial ads and suggestions, right?

Those feelings are normal, of course.

* * * * *

(Anyone suspecting that such sensations represent an outcropping of paranoia should consider that the people following you don't really believe you are paranoid, nor believe in paranoia, nor in belief itself, generally speaking.

Also, people suspecting the potential role of paranoia in their quite normal feelings of advertising defenselessness would be well advised to seek immediate hypno-therapy, in order to help break down modern conditioning and discover, for example, just why it is that you're uncontrollably buying products you don't really need -- like all those jars of "Slimbo's Behind-the-Knee Deodorant Pads.")


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