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Alex Baer: Would You Like to Eat on a Star?

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Eat on a star... or, you could carry moonbeams home in a jar.  You could go shopping for a snack.  And, you know, nibble on a Pitt?

So much for musical whimsy.  Down to business:  How about some Angelina chops? Some Brad burgers or Pitt pits?  No, we're not talking about acting abilities or World War Z cuisine.  Not really.

We're talking Soylent Sausages here.  Or, as a buddy chimed in,  The Other White Meat.  Yes:  It's what for barter, if the dollar fails.  Or, as another one emailed:  Is this Soylent Bling?

Yes, it's all of those things. And more.  Too much more.

For the ultimate in a concept that's really hard to swallow, how about snagging some celebrity tissue samples and making artisanal salami out of that lab-grown meat?

(We'll wait here.  Go back and re-read that if you like.  Take your time absorbing that one, and re-spool your mind as needed.  OK -- done?  Good deal.  Onward.)

Yes, it's recipe time:  Take a quick biopsy.  Then, isolate some muscle stem cells.  Next, plop it all into the proprietary bioreactor.  Finally, set the controls to the heart of the sun, and voila -- Jennifer Lawrence meatballs, maybe.  James Franco marinade.  Kanye West under glass.  Ellen DeGeneres on a cedar plank, perhaps, hot from the grill.

We can only hope we don't get into Jay Leno tartare, if you know what I mean.


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