TV News LIES

President Obama wasn't really born in Kenya after all.  That was just a little good-natured political ruse, for the election, that was all.  See, Obama was actually born on Venus.

OK, well, maybe Neptune, at the outside.  But it's definitely down to one of those, right there.

Plus, you know what?  Obama eats cloned stem cells for breakfast!  By the end of this year, it'll be no more bacon-and-eggs for the rest of us -- you mark my words.  He'll have us all eating the same glop, and maybe fetuses, too.  Then, right after, we'll have to march around every day in socialist parades for an hour or two, singing about how much we love Chairman Marx and Comrade Obama.

You just can't get good help anymore.  This seems glaringly true for a number of bad apples hogging the news spotlights these days.  They all need new advisors, as a basic start.

While these lot-spoiling apples are only a minority percentage of state residents, businesspeople, and total politicians in the country, these small groups always hook the Klieg lights and attention their way.  This is usually while they're busy demonstrating one of their strongest assets and skills, being -- to use a (shudder) Grover Norquistian phrase -- poopy heads.

In early 2010, one of Washington DC’s most prestigious think tanks was holding a seminar on the Middle East which included a discussion of Israel’s December 2008-January 2009 assault on Gaza which killed about 1,300 Palestinians. When the death toll was mentioned, one expert on the panel smiled enigmatically and intoned: “It’s unfortunate, but every once in a while you have to mow the lawn.”

The remark, which likened killing hundreds of men, women and children – many of them noncombatants – with trimming the grass, was greeted with a light tittering around the room, which was filled with some of Washington’s most elite, highly educated and well-paid Middle East experts. Not a single one objected to the panelist’s black humor.

Pretty much Standard Operating Procedure these days:  When bad things happen, have your legal and PR staff closely question and challenge the Point of View of accusers, while working every Catch-22 connection and boondoggle in stock, trusting complaints will crash in on themselves from sheer confusion, crosswinds, and weight.

Once the status quo has been maintained and Situation Normal (All Fouled Up) has been re-instituted, one can then declare victory and divvy out promotions and bonuses, taking a year off with full pay and benefits.

The billionaires who pass out the right-wing Kool-Aid are desperately trying to push the fantasy that they are going to act out Ayn Rand's novel, and leave us all to starve if we allow that Kenyan Socialist to raise their taxes by a couple of points. That's not what it's about of course.

These people will still have more money than they could ever burn if they tried. They're really afraid that the middle class will realize they've been screwed and start wanting their country back.

Sometimes we make it a lot harder on ourselves than we have to.  This is where the acronym KISS comes in handy -- Keep It Sane and Simple.

There are other variations on that acronymic theme, of course.  Many of them even contain no rough language whatever, surprisingly, when referring to our stalwart national stewards, aka members of Congress.

The point, although it seems especially prone to idly wandering away today, is easy enough to re-grasp:  Sometimes the answers for our most difficult challenges and problems are right in front of us, jumping up and down, waving like mad, trying to be seen and heard.