TV News LIES

Tropical Storm Isaac's moist, warm winds increased speed to 70 miles per hour late today, just 4 mph short of a hurricane -- which is anywhere from 293 to 449 mph short of the hot-air wind-speed records that blowhards will achieve at this year's Republican parr-tee in Tampa.

In all, 2,286 delegates and 2,125 alternate delegates have gathered in one spot -- since quarantined by the Combined National Emergency Weather and Mental Health Centers, and dubbed a dangerous depression -- one not curable by anti-psychotic medications.

One plank of the Republican platform to be presented in Tampa is a demand for a return to the gold standard. This little bit of crazy is apparently intended to placate the Libertarian delegates that support Ron Paul. I've heard that they actually have enough votes to keep Romney from being nominated. This would explain them moving the official nomination from the traditional Wednesday session to Monday.

You know something is up because the habitual liars didn't use the excuse of the Wrath of God bearing down on Tampa for the sudden change, but claim it was always the schedule. (it has always been done this way, and we've always been at war with East Vagina)

Update on our universe's intersection with the Bizarro realm's version:  Effects continue to ripple and pulse outward in huge waves, like pychosis-tsunami wannabes.

Researchers say the impact is anywhere from as little as a two percent increase in most lifeforms, to as much as three quadrillion percent as severe in Republicans, based on observable behaviors and statements, not on any increased understanding as yet of the phenomenon itself.

It's been quite a while since we've written, and seemingly even longer since we've written anything intelligent or intelligible -- nothing that wasn't scrawled in blood and abruptly shoved into your view.  Certainly nothing much worth reading.

After a Constitution, Bill of Rights, and assorted amendments, we may be intellectually exhausted.  You have to admit, that was a stretch of extraordinary thinking, imagining such lofty thoughts as being worth a go by mere human beings.

Of course, founding this country on genocide and slavery are facts that have kept many of us up, late at night, stark awake, inconsolably saddened.

The only thing our political leaders have learned about war is not how to avoid them, but making certain they never again suffer a national conscription, or draft.

Vietnam taught politicians the PR challenges of holding a fine war with a draft in place:  All of a sudden, everyone and his brother had some real skin in the game, with so broad a population base up for grabs as cannon fodder.

Today, politicians think nothing of narrowing their gun sights, and sharpening the burden to a fine point -- one supported by very few backs.  With a more-or-less volunteer force, you just demand the same small group returns to the battlefield over and over and over -- while promising to look into the puzzling reasons soldier suicides have skyrocketed.

The geniuses of the Republican National Convention have installed a huge banner across the front of the Tampa Convention Center proclaiming "We Built That".

They unconsciously summarized the Obama speech that they are trying to mis-characterize. Even though the convention center sports a corporate sponsor's name, it really was built by government with union labor.

The "branding" of public buildings with corporate names is really a subtle propaganda ploy to make people think that everything good is provided to them by their benevolent corporate overlords. Americans have been conditioned to believe things that come from corporations are free, and that government is expensive. This is the opposite of reality of course.